| I know I haven't written in here in forever, but I just have somethings to get off my chest. I have no clue why buy right now I am really depressed.
I think it has something to do with school. I just feel like I don't know what to do with my life. How am I supposed to pick a career path, where there is nothing that can show me if I like it. That is just one of my problems with school. I also cannot keep myself there, I have no interests in any of my classes. Therefore, I try to convice myself that it is OK for me to go home. I can't do this, I need to stay there and go to my classes. It has been like this for almost 2 years, and I hate it. I want to be the person who is there all the time, and studys, and gets all the good grades. I just cannot do it. Don't tell me its cuz I haven't tried, because I have. I dont know. I think I need to take some time off, but I can't cuz I'm already behind on credits, and then where ever I transfer I will be a sophmore instead of a junior, and then also I will have to find a place to live. I don't know, I don't have my parents pushing me, I don't have anyone pushing me, all I have is all the negative comments coming my way. Right now I feel like I fucked up my life, and there is nothing that I can do to fix it. I dunno what I am going to do. I am really interested in being a cop, I think it is something that I would like, but I will have to research more into it. See what degree I need. If its only an associate I think I might just go to JJC to finish that. But I dont know, I am just trying to think ahead. Think what would be best for madison and me. Think if I will be able to provide for her.
There is only one thing that I do know... and that is that I have alot of thinking to do |
